Post by osodesparate on Dec 7, 2013 14:11:33 GMT
The night before last, I found myself talking to myself (when alone), and the words came out, "You should commit suicide." This follows more than2 decades and hundreds of embarrassing moments. I feel like I've had it. I've got a spectacular job that I've worked hard to get, but it's all threatened because I'm making coworkers around me sick. OMG, how horrid is this?
Anyway, don't want to cs. I'm in great mental health other than !"this stupid problem. Have many good things going for me. I work out all the time, am in very good shape...try to keep my butt small and where it's supposed to be, great family, great husband, with lots of love, but I stink. I STINK. I always have to sulk and hang my head, and look at people when I know they're thinking, "What the hey?"
I just read about TMU today, and I'm wondering if I've got it. For 2 decades, I've been reading simplistic little do-dads on how to put baking soda in your shoes at night, and how to put deodorant in between your toes...well, what I'm talking about is rank. It's like this little bacteria come floating out of my body and hit the air and deliver a whiff of poison that immediately puts people in a bad mood, and even if they're nice, there comes a point that they don't want to take it anymore.
That's where I'm at at my job. Everyone is mystified, I think, because I dress nice, I act nice, I look nice, and what is the world...she STINKS. They've even said, "My office stinks" and I know their office stinks because I'm in the area.
I don't know why this started, or exactly when, but I'm 52 now, and for the first 3 decades of my life, I didn't have this. But after baby #3, it started, and I've been dancing around it ever since. I'm stink free about 15 minutes after shower, and then it hits. If I cover it with powder, it becomes even more musky-like. If I cover with perfume, people complain about that.
There is no escape, so far. If I didn't need $, I would just stay home and do charity and help people worse than me. But I have to make a living, and what am I going to do? I wouldn't even doubt if my employer would put me on STD to try and find a solution. But is there one.
So maybe there's a little hope in diet, I'm reading? I do know that coffee just wigged me out completely. The odor was oozing out of my skin like a silent viper. I had no idea, and had been basking my sorrow in a big, big plastic cup of coffee in the a.m. and p.m., and then one day, I said, "Hey, this is getting even worse...maybe my liver can't take this coffee" and I stopped, and it stopped being soooo horrible - just the standard bad.
I'm seriously going to get fired if I don't do something. So I found this place and curezone.com, and I'm going to try a diet, and some charcoal and B2 and other stuff, and just hope for reprieve. Just a little. I wreck so many shoes that I go to Goodwill to get them, and use them a couple weeks and go get some more.
I had to tell my boss about it this week, and now that I've opened it, I'm concerned about what's to come. It's just that he was getting complaints, and I thought I'd better let him know that I know.
If there is anyone with this problem that is a fashion fan, and a mom, or has a career they're trying to keep, please contact me. My friends are getting thin because of this FUNKY TOWN around me. I'm Osodesparate!!!!!!