Post by worrygal on Jan 22, 2013 19:41:00 GMT
Hi everyone!
I'm here to rant so I apologies in advance if I upset anyone with the lack of grammar or content. I'm really annoyed and my panic attacks are at an all time high. For nearly three years now I have become acutely aware of the fact I have an odour issue. I feel enraged by life! Believe me, it's like an odour bomb and it can vary depending on the environment I'm in. I've been humiliated on so many occasions that I'm becoming very anxious at work or social settings again. I've taken a few weeks off work and intend on going back but the thought just makes me want to hide away mainly in my bed. I know social contact is important and I have many amazing friends who have helped along the way so I'm not completely isolated. I challenged myself to meet other sufferers which has been a life changing experience . Yoga and meditation have also helped me a lot! 😃
I still haven't been diagnosed which doesn't help. Why? Well if I broach the subject with a doctor I'm dismissed. Having a shower or bath helps or it makes me feel better but as soon as I start to panic the dark cloud of depression appears.
So I plucked up the courage to see a doctor again, told her everything and I've been refered to a councilor. I was further insulted with the comment "don't eat garlic or anything pungent". I avoid fish like the plague and sometimes avoid food altogether.I've spent a great deal of money seeing alternative practitioners and stocked up on umpteenth herbal solutions that add to my odour. I'm going back to see yet another doctor at the same practice and taking an informative letter from MEBO and an article. I should be able to get a free blood test to detect TM AU via the NHS but failing that I'm going private. I need a solution because I'm finding it really hard at the moment.
Earlier today, I went to collect my little one from school and most of the teachers evacuated the reception area. Two of them had the audacity to talk about the stink in the reception. They were both in fits of laughter and kept looking at me. I just pretended it wasn't me! I suppose if I felt stronger I would have shrugged it off and carried on with my day. My friend also hinted I stunk but again I played dumb.
I feel so loved and happy around my family and I am so thankful I have them but sometimes I wish I could be a "normal" mum and not worry about other people's reactions. When I feel stronger I seem to cope but when the stress of life and the odour issue piles up I can't seem to cope. I'm a very outspoken person but I seem to become introverted and feel unworthy. I'm going to take some action steps to deal with this situation properly. If I need meds so be it and if I need to see a head doctor well I'll do that. I'm not giving up on my family, work or life.
I think anyone willing to face the world with this condition is unbelievably brave. Chin up people! I feel much better after that.
Stay strong!
WG
I'm here to rant so I apologies in advance if I upset anyone with the lack of grammar or content. I'm really annoyed and my panic attacks are at an all time high. For nearly three years now I have become acutely aware of the fact I have an odour issue. I feel enraged by life! Believe me, it's like an odour bomb and it can vary depending on the environment I'm in. I've been humiliated on so many occasions that I'm becoming very anxious at work or social settings again. I've taken a few weeks off work and intend on going back but the thought just makes me want to hide away mainly in my bed. I know social contact is important and I have many amazing friends who have helped along the way so I'm not completely isolated. I challenged myself to meet other sufferers which has been a life changing experience . Yoga and meditation have also helped me a lot! 😃
I still haven't been diagnosed which doesn't help. Why? Well if I broach the subject with a doctor I'm dismissed. Having a shower or bath helps or it makes me feel better but as soon as I start to panic the dark cloud of depression appears.
So I plucked up the courage to see a doctor again, told her everything and I've been refered to a councilor. I was further insulted with the comment "don't eat garlic or anything pungent". I avoid fish like the plague and sometimes avoid food altogether.I've spent a great deal of money seeing alternative practitioners and stocked up on umpteenth herbal solutions that add to my odour. I'm going back to see yet another doctor at the same practice and taking an informative letter from MEBO and an article. I should be able to get a free blood test to detect TM AU via the NHS but failing that I'm going private. I need a solution because I'm finding it really hard at the moment.
Earlier today, I went to collect my little one from school and most of the teachers evacuated the reception area. Two of them had the audacity to talk about the stink in the reception. They were both in fits of laughter and kept looking at me. I just pretended it wasn't me! I suppose if I felt stronger I would have shrugged it off and carried on with my day. My friend also hinted I stunk but again I played dumb.
I feel so loved and happy around my family and I am so thankful I have them but sometimes I wish I could be a "normal" mum and not worry about other people's reactions. When I feel stronger I seem to cope but when the stress of life and the odour issue piles up I can't seem to cope. I'm a very outspoken person but I seem to become introverted and feel unworthy. I'm going to take some action steps to deal with this situation properly. If I need meds so be it and if I need to see a head doctor well I'll do that. I'm not giving up on my family, work or life.
I think anyone willing to face the world with this condition is unbelievably brave. Chin up people! I feel much better after that.
Stay strong!
WG